


Zip Zip Zip

by unusual_cliche



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M, My First Smut, Romance, Zip Zip Zip Au, lots of use of the word awesome, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 06:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unusual_cliche/pseuds/unusual_cliche
Summary: This is a zip zip zip AU."He feels her hands pulling at his hair as he kisses his way to her collarbone, letting his own hands move to push her suit jacket off. And later he’ll be ashamed to admit he never gave it a second thought, letting it fall helplessly to the floor along with his own jacket."





	Zip Zip Zip

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2011 so I wouldn't remember correctly but I think it's pretty close to canon. And by canon, I totally mean everthing up untill the last episode. ; )

Barney feels the need to slow down for the first time in a very long time.

He likes his present identity too much to risk it by actually stopping to think. Lord knows he can’t go back to the old one (if he ever get’s that kind of revertigo – the _Shannon_ kind - he’s going to kill himself). This time though, it wasn’t really a choice. He couldn’t stop the feel—

No!

Ugh.

He swore he wouldn’t let this happen again. Jesus, he turned into his _biggest enemy_ to guarantee it would never happen again! He hated her for doing this to him.

No.

Of course he didn’t hate her. Not the _awesomest_ , most exhilarating laser tag partner he’d ever had. It couldn’t possibly be her fault when she obviously had no idea what she was doing to him. She hadn’t even meant the hardcore part of their battleship game that way. Not at first anyway.

Heh.

No, it was all him, all his wrongdoing.

But why the hell did she have to be so damn perfect? If anyone had told him he would meet a girl like her back when he made that promise, maybe he wouldn’t have wasted his time.

Huh…

Actually, it’s probably a good thing no one did, a guy like that wouldn’t have ever had a shot with a girl like Robin. Ever.

And he wouldn’t have had that legendary night of battleship playing to show for himself. This time, even **if** he were about to become a lame mushy lovestruck teenage boy in the near future, he’d always have that night to justify it. At least a little bit. Oh c’mon he _knows_ there are some big hockey players who would surely understand him, all the way back in Canada. She is just that good.

***

“Wow, that did make a lot of sense,” she says, and Barney can feel the mood change in the room.

He doesn’t have to turn his head to know her eyes are roaming all over his now clothed body and suddenly it’s really difficult to continue working on his tie.

“That’s what I’m saying, Sherbatsky” he blurts out, and his voice is way huskier. He can’t help but look at her then, and her eyes go straight towards his, and she’s biting on her lower lip but he can see it’s not intentional – which, of course, makes it that much hotter.

Now that he knows he won’t be punished for it, he finally let’s his eyes free to roam too. He lets out a breath, stunned by the sight of her amazing body. In a _suit_. He eventually goes back to her eyes again, and they’re so full of mischief and now there’s a smirk forming on her mouth and he’s holding back – why?! She _just_ rejected him but, but…

“See anything you like?” it’s playful and she’s awesome for helping him out of his anxiety.

He’s his confident self again and she’s still smirking, her eyes twinkling.

“You know it.”

It’s true. She’s so full of herself; it reminds him of… well, of himself really. His mind is foggy, but he’s pretty sure this shouldn’t be a turn on. Oh, who gives a crap; he never denied his narcissistic streak.

She has been getting closer to him - and now that he thinks about it maybe he’s been moving too – and he can feel all the heat radiating from her body. Honestly, if he didn’t man up and grab her now, he wasn’t sure he could look in the mirror again. He would be a disgrace for the bro kind.

So he does. Kind of.

He reaches for her, his hands curling against her waist, and lets his lips fall to her neck because there’s something too intimate about her lips. He feels her hands pulling at his hair as he kisses his way to her collarbone, letting his own hands move to push her suit jacket off. And later he’ll be ashamed to admit he never gave it a second thought, letting it fall helplessly to the floor along with his _own_ jacket. On this very instant, though, he’s too caught up in the way she’s pulling at his tie and moving them to the bedroom.

Her bedroom.

He takes a moment to look at it, an insane curiosity to know as much as possible about her life, while he can. He knows it won’t last, this intimacy. No, this is a onetime only offer. She’s his friend; of course it’s onetime only!

“Um, I know it’s a little awkward with all of the dogs here, but…” and Barney knows he’s being a little distracted here, and she probably thinks he’s reconsidering it all. He does NOT want her to think that so he kisses her. On those once forbidden lips. And he stops thinking altogether – which is what he should have done all along!

Her tongue is invading his mouth now.

He’s pushing her to the bed.

Now _his_ tongue is in _her_ mouth.

They fall to the mattress and she says something about being lucky for not landing in one of the dogs while he kisses her newfound earlobe. Then her chin, her neck, her shoulder.

 She sighs and her top is suddenly out of the way. It takes him a few second to function properly again as his eyes are overwhelmed with the sight of her breasts. She chuckles and he lets his lips touch them, and bite them, and lick them. She’s back to sighing, he’s thankful to hear.

Suddenly, she’s forcing his back onto the bed and straddling him, her playfulness back full force. He should have known she’d be just as competitive in bed. And he enjoys everything she’s doing to his body while undressing him. He swears when she leaves him to take off whatever clothes are left on both their bodies.

Their eyes lock yet again, as she lets her sex meet his, slowly; painfully so.

“Dear god,” she says dizzily.

He feels exactly the same but his pride won’t let him show it.

“No, just me” he winks, and it’s playful again so he takes charge and rolls them over.

He kisses her everywhere, paying close attention to each one of her responses. He can tell his ministrations are getting her too close too fast so he slows the pace, which has gotten a little frantic.

When she murmurs “tease” onto his ear, all hot and breathy, he knows this will be over too soon anyway. He takes a hand to her, then, to caress her with the same fastening rhythm his hips are doing.

“Fuck, Barney!”

Her legs rush to circle his waist and that gets him deeper inside of her. He can’t hold on anymore. He can’t! So he lets himself go, trying to keep working on her, he couldn’t possibly leave her hanging. He feels her coming too a few seconds later so he opens his eyes to look at her face. He wouldn’t want to miss it.

***

Things have to go back to normal, after that. Because there’s Ted, and they’re friends and he’s Barney _Legendary_ Stinson. So he pushes whatever _feel_ -, **_feeli_** \- …

Well, he pushes whatever had been happening between them away from his mind and focuses on being awesome. And as long as he keeps his focus on his awesomeness, he can pretend he doesn’t see hers.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first time I'm publishing anything on AO3. (I'm cleaning my PC, so I figured its now or never...) Please be nice.


End file.
